Disclosure Training

13 Feb, 2019

The law’s classification of the following terms:

Sexual violation: rape, unlawful sexual connection

Unlawful connection: unlawful sexual connection between any genders

Rape: Unlawful sexual intercourse between a man and woman

The maximum sentence for both unlawful connection and rape is 20 years imprisonment.

Consent: agreement to sexual activity. It cannot be given under coercion, power-play, intoxicated by alcohol/drugs, unconscious, under 16 years of age.

Consent in NZ is not classified by a yes means yes, no means no situation. It does not rely on someone’s resistance. Instead we classify consent by stating what it is not.

When discussing consent, we usually talk about ‘ongoing awareness’ and a ‘higher level of communication’ instead of the legal terms.

  • Alcohol: too drunk to consent/hard to tell/motor functions
  • Blackout drunk: fragmentary black out (partial memory loss) or en bloc black out (full memory loss)
  • Women are at a higher risk of sexual abuse
  • We need to normalise talking about safe behaviours and calling out toxic behaviour.

Support

Our job is to listen to people and acknowledge emotions. You don’t need determine is what is being disclosed is a case of sexual or physical assault. Just believe them and their emotions. Don’t set up false expectations for them (i.e. “omg, they should be kicked out of uni”), don’t ask lots of questions about what happened (details). Ask questions along the lines of:

  • Do you need anything?
  • Are you safe?
  • Are you okay right now?

You cannot be a secret-keeper. If they seem resistant, give them the sense of control by asking which person (Maya/Dazzy/Stephen) they would rather speak with. Ask if they want you to speak/help them speak, to said choice of person.

Toxic behaviour

If you overhead toxic behaviour such as: “I hooked up with [….] I finally wore her down,” tell Maya. Then do whatever you are comfortable with (inserting yourself into the conversation/making a note to keep an eye on them etc.) A great way to deal with the situation is to ask what they mean by what they just said: “what do you mean wore her down?” Having to explain it will make the statement less funny, and even if it was a ‘joke’ will help prevent normalising this behaviour. Sometimes something low-key like this is more effective than shutting the situation down or confronting directly. It is a smoother way to point out their inappropriate comment.

In group of boys a male voice may be more impactful sending this message (recruit fellow leaders!)

If someone is teasing a friend, and you are unsure as to whether it is banter or hurtful, you can say something like “I’m feeling uncomfortable hearing you say […].” This draws attention to you preventing potential further hurt for said friend and helps stop the teasing. It has the added benefit of letting you own the situation, instead of placing attention on any single person in

When dealing with nights out, encourage safe practices. Bring up one of the following:

  • Having a plan for transport back
  • Contraception
  • Responsible drinking (“you don’t want to feel awful for your lecture tomorrow morning”)
  • Looking out for one another.

Leaders can come up with catchphrases! Claire’s is “have fun, look after each other.”